Willowglass - The Dream Harbour. 2013 England

As a reviewer myself, I tend to read dozens of reviews. It can be wearisome to see the same tired critiques by those who think they have something novel to say - when in fact it's the same old blather. Generally these reviews are from newbies who digest 30 albums a day via illegal download and spit out whatever is in their addled brain. They have no context or sense of history. Just bla blabla blabla. Sometimes you can tell they aren't even reviewing the correct album, but something else - probably a mislabled download or one too many bong hits. So with that in mind, I had a bit of fun with the below review, as The Dream Harbour is just the type of album that is ripe for getting picked on.

Willowglass continue to improve with each release. Now a full three piece, Willowglass is beginning to come together as a full unit rather than just a solo effort with a drummer in tow. If progressive rock is a regular part of your diet, then Willowglass are your IHOP. Good ole eggs (mellotron, organ), bacon (flute, violin), and pancakes (guitar) with syrup (soaring guitar)... and coffee (odd time signatures) is what is served at The Willowglass Cafe. Sure, you've had bacon, eggs, pancakes, and coffee a million times before. But when it's all cooked right, you walk out happy and smiling. Willowglass does that for you.

Oh, you wanted scallops with parsnip puree, l'orange spinach, and a balsamic vinegar reduction? Oh that would be the restaurant to our left called the Avant-Garde Noise Cafe!

For the first reviewer that comes here and says this has "all been done before, therefore don't waste your time" you get a gold star!

TWO stars if you look just like a Starbucks' Barista!

And THREE stars if you look like a Starbucks' Barista but have never actually had a job before!

Ownership: CD: 2013 private

9/3/13 (first listen / review / new entry)